How doTERRA essential oils help us nurture mind, body & spirit today

There is something sacred about opening a bottle of oil and feeling instantly connected — not just to nature, but to the very same plants God wove into Scripture thousands of years ago.

These oils aren’t only relics of the past.
They’re part of God’s original design for wellness, and today, with doTERRA’s purity and potency, we get to bring them into our homes, routines, and healing practices in ways that feel deeply supportive and beautifully aligned with modern life.

Below is your guide to the Oils of the Bible with their Scriptural roots and their modern wellness benefits — a perfect companion to your original blog.

🌿 SANDALWOOD (Aloes)

Scriptures: Numbers 24:6; Psalm 45:8; Proverbs 7:17; Song of Solomon 4:14; John 19:39

A deeply grounding, calming oil — just as meaningful today as it was in ancient worship rituals.

Modern uses:
• Enhances meditation, prayer, and mindfulness
• Smooths fine lines and supports mature or dry skin
• Promotes deep, restorative sleep
• Calms a racing mind
• Lovely in personal fragrance blends

🌿 CASSIA

Scriptures: Exodus 30:24; Ezekiel 27:19; Psalm 45:8

Warm, spicy, and comforting — Cassia brings courage, confidence, and a sense of emotional strength.

Modern uses:
• Supports healthy metabolic function
• Uplifts mood and emotional warmth
• Wonderful for non-toxic home cleaning sprays
• Adds warmth to diffuser blends
• Supports digestion and overall wellness

🌿 CEDARWOOD

Scriptures: Leviticus 14; Numbers 19

Symbolic of protection and stability — Cedarwood feels like an instant grounding embrace.

Modern uses:
• Deep relaxation and bedtime support
• Helps quiet mental chatter
• Encourages emotional safety and groundedness
• Supports healthy hair and scalp
• Natural insect-repelling aroma

🌿 CYPRESS

Scriptures: Genesis 6:14; Isaiah 41:19; 44:14; 1 Kings 9:11; Song of Solomon 1:17

Cypress embodies movement, flow, and renewal — a beautiful companion for both physical and emotional transitions.

Modern uses:
• Supports healthy circulation
• Helps with leg fatigue or heaviness
• Encourages emotional release
• Supports lymphatic flow
• Lovely for breathwork and grounding practices

🌿 FRANKINCENSE

Scriptures: Multiple references throughout OT & NT; Matthew 2:11

Often called the “king of oils,” Frankincense remains one of the most versatile wellness tools available today.

Modern uses:
• Supports healthy cellular function
• Calms anxious feelings and overthinking
• Enhances meditation, prayer, and focus
• Nourishes and brightens skin
• Encourages emotional balance
• Supports immunity and overall wellness

🌿 MYRRH

Scriptures: Genesis 37:25; Esther 2:12; Song of Solomon; Matthew 2:11; John 19:39

An oil of comfort, grounding, and emotional steadiness — especially helpful in times of stress or transition.

Modern uses:
• Deep hydration for dry or irritated skin
• Supports healthy gums and oral care
• Calms emotional overwhelm
• Supports postpartum recovery and feminine wellness
• Centers the heart for prayer or journaling

🌿 SPIKENARD (NARD)

Scriptures: Song of Solomon; Matthew 26; Mark 14; John 12

A deeply soothing, earthy oil known for encouraging rest — emotionally and physically.

Modern uses:
• Supports relaxation and emotional release
• Promotes deeper rest and nighttime unwinding
• Calms the nervous system
• Gentle for skincare when blended properly
• Supports quiet reflection and peace

🌿 LAVENDER

(Possibly the “nard” mentioned in Scripture)

Scriptural references are debated, but many scholars connect Lavender to the traditions surrounding anointing and purification.

Modern uses:
• Calms anxious thoughts
• Supports peaceful sleep
• Soothes skin irritations
• Helps with head tension
• Gently supports digestion
• A foundational oil for emotional balance

💧 A Few Beautiful Ways to Use These Oils Together Today

🌟 For Stress & Nervous System Reset

Frankincense + Cedarwood + Lavender
Diffuse or apply diluted to pulse points.

🌟 For Grounding During Devotional Time

Sandalwood + Myrrh + Cypress
Place over the heart or back of the neck.

🌟 For Peaceful, Restful Sleep

Cedarwood + Lavender + Spikenard
Diffuse 30 minutes before bed.

🌟 For Glowing, Healthy Skin

Frankincense + Myrrh
Dilute and apply to face, neck, or hands.

🌟 For Warmth, Confidence & Encouragement

Cassia + Wild Orange
Diffuse to uplift mood and create a cozy atmosphere.

🌿 A Final Word: Scripture’s Oils, Today’s Support

These oils connect us to Scripture…
but they also support us right now — in our modern stress, modern pace, modern emotions, and modern bodies.

Every time you uncap one of these ancient-aroma bottles, may you be reminded:

✨ God’s healing is timeless.
✨ His design is intentional.
✨ And He still uses creation to comfort, restore, and renew us today.

Shop Essential Oils Now

Learn more about Oils of The Bible: God’s Ancient Gifts for Our Modern Lives from Ronai at https://ronaibrumett.com/post/oils-of-the-bible

Essential Oils, Health

A Balanced Look at the 90-Day Reset

October 22, 2025October 29, 2025 Beyond Possibilities

What It Promises — and What the Science Says

We explore wellness with curiosity, depth, and a commitment to truth here. Wellness isn’t about hype — it’s about harmony. So, when a new wellness plan captures attention, we look beneath the surface.

Today, we’re diving into doTERRA’s 90-Day Reset — what it includes, how it works, and how it aligns (or doesn’t) with research-based wellness principles.

A great place to start is the Lifestyle Assessment.

90 Day Reset-Lifestyle Assessment-US-English-PDF-V1 (1)Download

🌿 What Is the 90-Day Reset?

The 90-Day Reset is a structured, three-month wellness journey created by doTERRA to support the body’s natural cleansing systems through nutrition, supplementation, essential oils, and mindful living.

The program unfolds in three intentional phases — each designed to build on the last.

Month 1 — Prepare

The first month focuses on priming the body’s natural detox pathways, fueling cells with nutrients, and gently beginning the bodies drainage support.

Here are the products you’ll need and why you’ll need them:

VMG+^®: Whole-food vitamins and minerals fuel detox enzymes (for example, B vitamins for methylation and zinc for liver enzyme activation) and replenish daily nutrient gaps.* With liposomal delivery and essential oil synergy, VMG+ enhances how nutrients are absorbed, transported, and retained in the body.
EO Mega^®+: Omega-3s are incorporated into cell membranes, which improve fluidity and communication and support a healthy inflammatory response, reducing the burden on detox pathways.* With the inclusion of Wild Orange essential oil in EO Mega+, which is high in the natural chemical constituent limonene, we saw a decrease in both diastolic blood pressure and resting heart rate in clinical trials.
doTERRA PB Restore^®: This pre-, pro-, and postbiotics supplement supports gut lining integrity, balances immune function, and prepares your microbiome for deep detoxification.*
MetaPWR^® Mito2Max^®: The MetaPWR Mito2Max formula of standardized plant extracts and metabolic cofactors supports healthy cellular energy production.* Research suggests its ingredients may improve stamina, decrease fatigue, and support metabolic performance.*
RevitaZen+™ Complex: RevitaZen+ includes RevitaZen™ Detoxification Blend, which provides synergistic essential oil cofactors for system-wide detoxification. Emerging preclinical research suggests the oils within this blend work with your body—supporting the liver, kidney, and colon—aiding its natural detoxification processes when ingested.*
Ingredients include:
- Cocrystal Silybin (Milk Thistle): Offers superior liver protection and antioxidant support, according to preclinical research.*
- Artichoke Leaf Extract: Enhances bile production and digestive function.*
- Black Cumin Seed Oil (3% Thymoquinone): Provides potent antioxidant support and immune modulation, according to preclinical research.*
- Cumin Essential Oil: Supports healthy lipid metabolism and gut function, according to preclinical research.*

90 Day Reset-Month 1-Prepare-Guide-US-English-PDF-V2 Download

90 Day Reset-Month 1-Daily Tracker-US-English-PDF-V2 Download

Month 2 — Cleanse

This phase aims to rebalance gut flora and clear what no longer serves your system.

Here are the products you’ll need and why you’ll need them:

Continue with VMG+, EO Mega+, doTERRA PB Restore, and RevitaZen+.
doTERRA TerraZyme™: Broad-spectrum digestive enzymes reduce undigested food residues that can feed harmful microbes and stress gut lining, freeing up internal enzyme production for detoxification processes.*
GX Assist^®: This supplement combines essential oils (Oregano, Tea Tree, Lemon, Lemongrass, Peppermint, and Thyme) with caprylic acid to create an environment unfavorable to harmful gut microbes and biofilms, clearing space for beneficial strains.*
DDR Prime^® Cellular Complex: This essential oil blend (Frankincense, Thyme, Clove, Wild Orange, Summer Savory, Niaouli, and Lemongrass) supports healthy inflammatory response, DNA protection, and cellular renewal pathways while toxins are mobilized.*
RevitaZen Detoxification Blend: The essential oils in this blend—Tangerine, Rosemary, Geranium, Ginger, Juniper Berry and Cilantro—work synergistically to stimulate liver enzymes, improve circulation, and aid toxin mobilization.*

90 Day Reset-Month 2-Cleanse-Guide-US-English-PDF-V2 Download

90 Day Reset-Month 2-Daily Tracker-US-English-PDF-V2 Download

Month 3 — Renew

Here, the goal is restoration — rebuilding resilience and nourishing the body at the cellular level.

Here are the products you’ll need and why you’ll need them:

Continue with VMG+, EO Mega+, doTERRA PB Restore, and DDR Prime Cellular Complex.
MetaPWR Advantage: When combined with healthy lifestyle choices, taking MetaPWR Advantage once a day can help fortify your metabolic health.* It provides collagen peptides, NMN, NADH, and marine minerals to support mitochondrial renewal, connective tissue repair, skin integrity, and healthy aging.*

“A comprehensive approach combining daily foundational wellness with targeted detox tools … supporting the body’s natural cleansing processes — without harsh or extreme detox methods.”
— doTERRA, The 90-Day Reset

The plan also emphasizes key lifestyle practices: hydration, movement, colorful whole foods, restful sleep, and mindfulness. These habits are the true anchors of sustainable wellness.

90 Day Reset-Month 3-Renew-Guide-US-English-PDF-v3 Download

90 Day Reset-Month 3-Daily Tracker-US-English-PDF-V2 Download

🔬 How Does This Fit into the Science of Detox?

Detox Myths and What the Research Shows

Science takes a cautious view of commercial “detox” programs.

The National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health (NCCIH) notes that there is “no compelling research to support the use of ‘detox’ diets for weight management or eliminating toxins from the body” (NCCIH, 2015).

A review by Klein and Kiat (2015) came to a similar conclusion — finding very little high-quality evidence that detox diets work as advertised.

Harvard Health Publishing adds, “There’s a stark contrast between powerful claims made by those promoting various cleanses and the scant evidence that they do anything good for your health” (Shmerling, 2020).

In one small clinical study, a four-week dietary intervention did show reductions in certain trace elements in hair samples — but the calorie-restricted diet alone had greater weight-loss effects, and the authors emphasized the limitations of the research (Jung et al., 2020).

What This Means for the 90-Day Reset

From a research perspective, the 90-Day Reset blends evidence-supported habits (like nutrition, exercise, hydration, and sleep) with products that target cellular health and gut balance.

While claims about “cleansing toxins” are not strongly supported by large-scale trials, the lifestyle structure of the Reset reflects principles that science consistently supports: whole foods, movement, mindfulness, and rest.

When you nourish your body and align your habits, your system naturally does what it was designed to do — heal, restore, and thrive.

💪 Strengths of the 90-Day Reset

Structured and Sustainable: The gradual, three-month pacing supports real lifestyle change — not a crash cleanse (doTERRA, n.d.).
Focus on Foundational Wellness: Hydration, movement, nutrient-dense foods, and rest all align with proven wellness practices.
Holistic Design: By combining supplements, nutrition, and lifestyle, the plan supports both physical and emotional renewal.

✨ Is the 90-Day Reset Right for You?

If you’re exploring this path, consider it a reset for habits, not just for health.

Here are a few gentle guideposts:

Set Realistic Goals. Focus on how you feel — energy, digestion, sleep, clarity — not just numbers on a scale.
Prioritize Lifestyle. Nutrition, movement, hydration, and sleep are your most powerful detox tools.
Consult Your Provider. Especially if you’re pregnant, nursing, or managing health conditions.
Listen to Your Body. The best feedback comes from within — how you feel day to day matters most.
See It as a Catalyst. Let this 90-day journey spark lasting change, rather than a temporary fix.

🌱 Final Thoughts

The doTERRA 90-Day Reset offers a thoughtful framework for rebooting wellness — combining structure, support, and intention. Its focus on whole foods, hydration, sleep, and mindful movement aligns with solid health research.

However, it’s wise to remember that the body already comes equipped with powerful detox systems — the liver, kidneys, lungs, and skin do this work daily (NCCIH, 2015; Shmerling, 2020).

So instead of chasing a “cleanse,” think of the Reset as an invitation:
to tune in, slow down, nourish deeply, and reset not just your body — but your mindset toward lasting vitality.

📚 References

doTERRA. (n.d.). The 90-Day Reset. https://www.doterra.com/US/en/90-day-reset?OwnerID=601934

Jung, S.-J., Kim, W.-L., Park, B.-H., Lee, S.-O., & Chae, S.-W. (2020). Effect of toxic trace element detoxification, body fat reduction following four-week intake of the Wellnessup diet: A three-arm, randomized clinical trial. Nutrition & Metabolism, 17, Article 47. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12986-020-00465-9

Klein, A. V., & Kiat, H. (2015). Detox diets for toxin elimination and weight management: A critical review of the evidence. Journal of Human Nutrition and Dietetics, 28(6), 675-686. https://doi.org/10.1111/jhn.12286

National Center for Complementary and Integrative Health. (2015). “Detoxes” and “cleanses”: What you need to know. https://www.nccih.nih.gov/health/detoxes-and-cleanses-what-you-need-to-know

_*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

Updated 30-day Cleanse and Restore

30 Day-Cleanse and Restore-Protocol-US-English-PDF-v4 Download

Energy Healing, Healing Journey, Health, Self-Discovery

Movement and Emotion: The Science of Feeling Through Motion

October 17, 2025 Beyond Possibilities

Have you ever noticed how your body naturally moves with your emotions? You bounce when you’re happy, curl in when you’re sad, or tense your shoulders when you’re stressed. These patterns aren’t random — they reflect how the brain and body communicate through posture, physiology, and feeling. Research confirms what movement and healing traditions have long understood: movement changes emotion, and emotion changes movement.

Now, before I go too deep, you don’t have to overthink it. You can work through your emotions by simply putting on your favorite music and letting your body move to the music naturally. I also love doing AromaDance or Mindful Movement to move through my emotions.

The Somatic Basis of Emotion

Emotions aren’t only “in your head.” They’re embodied experiences involving the autonomic nervous system (ANS), muscle tone, breath, and interoception — our inner sense of how our body feels. When emotions are safely expressed through movement, the body can complete its stress cycle and return to balance. Movement therapies and somatic practices (e.g., gentle stretching, dance/movement therapy, rhythmic motion) have demonstrated reductions in cortisol, enhanced emotional regulation, and improvements in psychological well-being (Koch, Morlinghaus, & Fuchs, 2019; Wu, Li, & Zhang, 2023).

Joy: Expand, Express, Energize

Open-arm reach / chest opening
Expanding posture (arms wide, chest lifted) increases lung volume, influences the balance of sympathetic and parasympathetic tone, and signals openness and approach behavior — postures correlated with higher positive affect (e.g. expanded posture studies).

Light bounce / small hops
Gentle vertical bouncing raises endorphins and dopamine and stimulates spinal and vestibular systems for autonomic regulation.

Playful skipping / side-step
Rhythmic side-to-side locomotion with arm swing boosts mood, supports motor coordination, and taps into play systems.

Wiggle / spontaneous dance
Free, irregular movement (hips, torso, shoulders) enhances body awareness (interoception), modulates autonomic tone, and can increase positive affect (Koch et al., 2019).

Shake / tremor (gentle, spontaneous)
Small tremors or shakes help discharge stored motor tension and reduce autonomic hyperarousal, as in trauma-release (TRE) approaches.

Roll (gentle floor roll → stand)
Rolling shifts vestibular input and proprioceptive orientation, helping interrupt stuck tension patterns and inviting fluidity in the body.

Fear & Anxiety: Grounding, Soothing, Calming

Tap / hum
Gentle tapping or humming engages vagal pathways (via vibration) and supports parasympathetic activation, helping calm high arousal states.

Squeeze / hold (self-hug)
Applying gentle compression through a self-hug or forearm hold reduces cortisol and signals safety through proprioceptive feedback.

Sway / reach
Slow pendular motion with gentle arm reach soothes the vestibular system and offers predictable sensory input, helping regulate hyperarousal.

Sadness / Grief / Shame: Nurturing, Soothing, Softening

Brush / self-hug (gentle stroking)
Slow, affective touch activates C-tactile afferents associated with oxytocin release and supports calming networks.

Rock / squeeze (gentle rocking)
Rocking or gentle compressive movement engages vestibular regulatory systems, offering a soothing rhythm and containment for emotional processing.

Anger / Frustration: Safe Release, Grounding Power

Tense → release (clench / relax)
Voluntary muscle contraction followed by release modulates muscle spindle activity and helps the nervous system downregulate from tension.

Stomp / ground (foot strike)
Energetic foot strikes provide strong proprioceptive feedback and anchor excess energy into the ground, giving a sense of boundary.

Slam / push (controlled directional force)
Using controlled push or strike against a safe surface (e.g., wall, pillow) enables expression of force while reducing internal pressure and reactivity.

Peace / Calm / Confidence: Stabilizing & Centering

Ground / connect (rooted stance)
Soft squats, weight awareness in feet/ankles, and slow shifts help reestablish bodily stability and downregulate sympathetic tone.

Rest / restorative posture
Lying down with deep, diaphragmatic breathing stimulates the vagus nerve and promotes parasympathetic recovery.

Center / mindful micro-movement
Very gentle motions (neck rolls, shoulder circles) enhance interoceptive clarity and soothe the system, supporting self-regulation.

Pain / Fatigue / Recovery: Soothing, Flowing, Releasing

Settle / breathe (long exhale + micro shifts)
Slow, extended exhales paired with small posture adjustments relieve muscle guarding and support relaxation.

Ground / connect (light motion)
Gentle walking or standing awareness improves circulation and sensory grounding — beneficial for fatigue and mild pain.

Stretch / yawn / gentle mobilization
Stretching or yawning modulates muscle spindle feedback and encourages relaxation and renewed energy.

Why Somatic Movement Works

Interoception & emotional regulation: Improving body awareness strengthens emotion regulation capacity.
Rhythm & vestibular input: Repetitive movements (sway, rock, bounce) help regulate the autonomic nervous system.
Vocal + breath stimulation: Humming, sighing, and extended exhalation activate vagal pathways.
Free movement & dance: Encourages fluidity, creativity, and improved affect regulation (Koch et al., 2019; Wu et al., 2023).

Final Thoughts

Our feelings naturally manifest in the body. By intentionally choosing movement that mirrors or completes those expressions, we can help the body return to balance. Whether it’s a joyful stretch, a grounding stomp, or a slow restorative breath, each movement is a doorway to recalibration and liberation.

References

Dreisörner, A., & Junker, N. M. (2022). Self-soothing touch and being hugged reduce cortisol responses to stress: A randomized controlled trial on stress, physical touch, and social identity. Journal of Psychosomatic Research, 157, 110847. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jpsychores.2022.110847

Eckstein, M., Kämmerer, D., Knafo, S., & Heinrichs, M. (2020). Calming effects of touch in human, animal, and robotic social interactions. Frontiers in Psychiatry, 11, Article 567. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7672023/

Koch, S. C., Morlinghaus, K., & Fuchs, T. (2019). Effects of dance/movement therapy and dance on health-related psychological outcomes: A meta-analysis. Frontiers in Psychology, 10, Article 1806. https://www.frontiersin.org/articles/10.3389/fpsyg.2019.01806/full

Lindgren, L. (2012). Emotional and physiological responses to touch massage (Doctoral dissertation, Umeå University). Umeå University Repository. https://www.diva-portal.org/smash/get/diva2%3A568111/fulltext01.pdf

Packheiser, J., et al. (2024). A systematic review and multivariate meta-analysis of touch interventions: Effects on cortisol, pain, anxiety, and more. Nature Human Behaviour. https://www.nature.com/articles/s41562-024-01841-8

Wu, J., Li, Y., & Zhang, T. (2023). Effects of dance movement interventions on psychological health in older adults: A meta-analysis and systematic review. Brain Sciences, 13(7), 981. https://www.mdpi.com/2076-3425/13/7/981

Essential Oils, Health

Discover the Gentle Power of Castor Oil + Essential Oils

October 9, 2025October 9, 2025 Beyond Possibilities

doTERRA’s new CPTG®, Organic, Hexane-Free Castor Oil brings a time-tested natural ingredient into modern self-care. Grounded research shows its core fatty acid, ricinoleic acid, influences smooth-muscle receptors responsible for castor oil’s traditional laxative use (Tunaru et al., 2012). Topically, it’s a thick, nurturing emollient that seals moisture and slows evaporation of essential oils (CIR Expert Panel, 2007).

Evidence snapshot:
A controlled clinical study in elderly adults demonstrated that abdominal castor oil packs eased constipation discomfort (Arslan & Eser, 2011), while an exploratory dermatology trial found castor oil cream brightened under-eye skin tone (Parvizi et al., 2024). These early data hint at localized benefits, though large-scale trials are still pending.

What about “detox”?
Experts emphasize that castor oil does not remove systemic toxins; the liver and kidneys already perform that task. However, mindful rituals such as gentle abdominal packs may enhance relaxation and circulation — supportive, not curative (MD Anderson, 2023).

Why choose organic and hexane-free?
Cold-press extraction avoids chemical solvents like hexane, aligning with cleaner environmental and consumer-safety practices (Cravotto et al., 2022; EUFIC, 2025). doTERRA’s sourcing ensures a solvent-free, USDA-certified organic product designed for safe topical blending (doTERRA, 2025).

How to use it safely

Patch-test every new blend.
Apply small amounts — a few drops per area.
Use packs two or three times per week at most.
Avoid internal use or use during pregnancy unless advised by a clinician (Alookaran, 2024).

doTERRA 5 Ways to Use Castor Oil

Favorite DIY Ideas

Night-Time Skin Treatment — 3 drops Castor Oil + 1 drop Frankincense.
Scalp Support Mask — ½ tsp Castor Oil + ½ tsp Jojoba + Rosemary & Peppermint.
Hormone Comfort Pack — Castor Oil + Clary Sage & Geranium; warm compress 30 min.

“Science gives us confidence; ritual gives us rhythm. Together they create empowered wellness.”

Castor Oil-Personal Care-eBook-US-English-PDF-8.5 × 11-v2 Download

References

Alookaran, J. (2024). Castor Oil. In StatPearls. StatPearls Publishing. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK557815/

Arslan, G. G., & Eser, I. (2011). An examination of the effect of castor oil packs on constipation in the elderly. Complementary Therapies in Clinical Practice, 17(1), 58–62. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.ctcp.2010.04.004

Cosmetic Ingredient Review Expert Panel. (2007). Final report on the safety assessment of Ricinus communis (castor) seed oil and related ingredients. International Journal of Toxicology, 26(Suppl 3), 31–77. https://doi.org/10.1080/10915810701663150

Cravotto, G., et al. (2022). Towards substitution of hexane as extraction solvent of food products and ingredients with no regrets. Foods, 11(21), 3412. https://doi.org/10.3390/foods11213412

European Food Information Council (EUFIC). (2025, May 5). Is hexane in food a cause for concern? https://www.eufic.org/en/food-production/article/is-hexane-in-food-a-cause-for-concern

MD Anderson Cancer Center. (2023, October 19). What to know about castor oil health claims. https://www.mdanderson.org/cancerwise/what-to-know-about-castor-oil-health-claims.h00-159622590.html

Parvizi, M. M., Saki, N., Samimi, S., Radanfer, R., Shahrizi, M. M., & Zarshenas, M. M. (2024). Efficacy of castor oil cream in treating infraorbital hyperpigmentation: An exploratory single-arm clinical trial. Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology, 23(3), 911–917. https://doi.org/10.1111/jocd.16056

Tunaru, S., Althoff, T. F., Nüsing, R. M., Diener, M., & Offermanns, S. (2012). Castor oil induces laxation and uterus contraction via ricinoleic acid activating prostaglandin EP3 receptors. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences of the United States of America, 109(23), 9179–9184. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.1201627109

doTERRA. (2025). Meet Castor Oil and 5 Ways to Use Castor Oil. https://www.doterra.com/US/en/blog

Family Life Education, Self-Discovery

Building Trust Through Positive Communication: How Word Choice Builds Trust in Families

September 30, 2025 Beyond Possibilities

Good communication is at the heart of every healthy family relationship. In our latest workshop, we explored how the words we choose — especially in moments of stress — can either open a door to connection or close it. Even if you weren’t able to attend, the principles we discussed can help you strengthen your communication at home.

Why Word Choice Matters

Children and adolescents don’t just hear our words — they interpret the tone, structure, and intent behind them (Alejandra & Kataoka, 2017; Zapf et al., 2022). A phrase meant as guidance can sometimes sound like blame. For example:

Saying to a teen, “Why can’t you ever remember to text me?” may feel accusatory and lead to withdrawal.
Rephrased as, “I feel anxious when I don’t hear from you after school because I care about you. A quick text reassures me you’re safe,” the same concern becomes collaborative and caring.

These subtle shifts make a big difference in whether your child shuts down or leans in. Research shows that positive communication is linked to better family health and well-being (Kang et al., 2019) and can buffer stress for both parents and children (Rosland et al., 2011).

“I-Statements” vs. “You-Statements”

When emotions run high, our phrasing matters.

You-statements (e.g., “You never listen!”) point outward and often trigger defensiveness and conflict (Busby & Chiu, 2017).
I-statements (e.g., “I feel frustrated when instructions aren’t followed because it creates more work for me”) take ownership of feelings, reduce blame, and make room for dialogue (The Importance of “I-Statements,” n.d.).

Studies show that authentic I-statements help children feel respected, even when they are being corrected, and are associated with greater trust and healthier emotional regulation (Ouyang & Cheung, 2023; Yang et al., 2024). Families that practice open, consistent communication build resilience and stronger bonds (Family Strengths: Communication, 2020).

How to Put This into Practice

Pause before reacting. Take a breath and think: Am I about to use a “You-statement”?
Reframe with “I.” Center your message on your own feelings and needs, not blame.
Model growth. If you slip, rephrase aloud. This shows your children you are working on communication too.
Practice together. Try rewriting common household frustrations into I-statements as a family exercise.

The more you practice, the easier it becomes. Over time, your words can become a tool for connection, cooperation, and trust.

Communication Journal 2 Download

📚 References

Alejandra, A. M., & Kataoka, S. (2017). Family communication styles and resilience among adolescents. Social Work, 62(3), 261–269. https://doi.org/10.2307/44652409

Busby, D. M., & Chiu, L. H. (2017). Perceived conflict styles of adult children and their parents: What is the connection? Journal of Child and Family Studies, 26(12), 3412–3424. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-017-0839-9

Family Strengths: Communication. (2020). Forever Families. https://foreverfamilies.byu.edu/family-strengths-communication

Kang, S. Y., Lee, J. A., & Kim, Y. S. (2019). Impact of family communications on self-rated health of couples who visited primary care physicians: A cross-sectional analysis of Family Cohort Study in Primary Care. PLOS ONE, 14(3), e0213427. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0213427

Ouyang, Q., & Cheung, R. Y. M. (2023). Mother–child versus father–child conflict and emerging adults’ depressive symptoms: The role of trust in parents and maladaptive emotional regulation. Journal of Adult Development, 30(2), 145–157. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10804-022-09431-1

Rosland, A., Heisler, M., & Piette, J. D. (2011). The impact of family behaviors and communication patterns on chronic illness outcomes: A systematic review. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 35(2), 221–239. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10865-011-9354-4

The Importance of “I-Statements” in Relationships. (n.d.). Tony Robbins. https://www.tonyrobbins.com/blog/words-matter-you-vs-i

Yang, K. N., Bergman, K. N., & Cummings, E. M. (2024). Mother–adolescent communication and father–adolescent communication: Analyzing a 4-week family intervention using multi-informant data. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 35(1). https://doi.org/10.1111/jor.12995

Zapf, H., Boettcher, J., Haukeland, Y. B., Orm, S., Coslar, S., Wiegand-Grefe, S., & Fjermestad, K. (2022). A systematic review of parent–child communication measures: Instruments and their psychometric properties. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 26(1), 121–142. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10567-022-00414-3

Winsberg, M. (2022). Speaking in thumbs. Doubleday.