Category: Self-Discovery

Awareness, Word Choice, and Trust in Family Communication
Family Life Education, Self-Discovery

Putting It All Together: Awareness, Word Choice, and Trust in Family Communication

Beyond Possibilities

Family communication is often the heartbeat of connection. The words we choose, the tone we use, and even the body language we convey can either build bridges or create distance within our homes. While it’s easy to get swept up in the rush of daily life, learning to pause, reflect, and intentionally communicate can transform how our families relate to one another.

In previous blogs, we’ve explored the foundations of awareness, trust, and word choice in communication. Now, it’s time to put it all together — to take what we’ve learned and use it in real moments with those we love most.

Awareness: The Power of Pausing Before We Speak

Awareness is like turning on a light in a dark room. It helps us see clearly what’s really happening — both within ourselves and in the conversation unfolding before us. When parents recognize their emotional state before speaking, research shows they communicate more calmly, which encourages calmer responses from their children as well (Alejandra & Kataoka, 2017).

Before reacting to a situation — like a teenager missing curfew or a spouse forgetting to follow through — pause and check in with yourself. What emotion is surfacing? What need might be underneath that emotion?

Tools like Mel Robbins’ “5 Second Rule” (counting backward 5-4-3-2-1 before responding) can interrupt reactive thought patterns and help you respond from a place of calm intention. This practice of mindful awareness creates space for empathy to guide our words rather than frustration.

Word Choice: Creating Openness Through Language

Words carry energy. The difference between “Why are you always late?” and “I’m concerned you’re running behind — is there something you need help with?” is the difference between accusation and understanding.

Studies consistently show that positive word choice improves family connection and strengthens relationships over time (Family Strengths: Communication, 2020). Using “I-statements” is one of the simplest and most effective ways to do this. Instead of blaming or labeling, “I-statements” express feelings and needs without placing the other person on the defensive (The Importance of “I-Statements in Relationships,” n.d.).

For example:

“I feel worried when I don’t hear from you. Can we agree that you’ll text when you arrive home?”

That small shift creates collaboration rather than confrontation — and the tone of the conversation shifts from tension to teamwork.

Trust: Built in the Everyday Moments

Trust is not built in grand gestures — it’s built in consistency. Every small, respectful interaction lays a foundation for emotional safety and belonging. Research from Ouyang and Cheung (2023) found that when parents foster trust and model emotional regulation, young adults experience fewer depressive symptoms and stronger family bonds.

Nonverbal cues like tone, posture, and facial expressions often speak louder than words (Winsberg, 2022). When we model openness, children learn that vulnerability is safe. This kind of safety allows our teens and young adults to develop independence while still feeling supported — a balance essential for healthy family dynamics (Busby & Chiu, 2017).

It’s easy to overlook these small daily exchanges, but they are the building blocks of resilient relationships. As one review from Precision Family Therapy (2025) put it, strong communication nurtures empathy, mutual respect, and adaptability — qualities that make families thrive even through challenges.

Putting It Into Practice

Imagine this scenario: your 17-year-old borrowed the car and didn’t text when they got home.

Your instinct might be to say, “You never think about how worried I get!” But instead, you pause. You take a deep breath. You recognize that your reaction comes from fear, not anger.

Then you reframe:

“When I don’t hear from you, I worry because I care about your safety. How can we make a plan that works for both of us?”

This reframe integrates awareness (of your own emotions), word choice (using “I-statements”), and trust (inviting collaboration). The result? Connection instead of conflict.

Growth, Not Perfection

Improving communication is not about mastering perfection — it’s about making consistent, small shifts that ripple through our relationships. Each mindful pause, thoughtful phrase, and intentional act of trust brings us closer together.

As Forever Families (2020) beautifully explains, communication is both a skill and a reflection of love — one that strengthens every time we choose understanding over reaction.

So, take a moment today to reflect:

  • How can you pause more often before responding?
  • What words can you reframe to express care instead of criticism?
  • Where might trust need a little rebuilding — or acknowledgment?

Awareness opens understanding.
Word choice opens dialogue.
And trust opens hearts.

Communication Journal 3Download

References (APA 7th Edition)

Alejandra, A. M., & Kataoka, S. (2017). Family communication styles and resilience among adolescents. Social Work, 62(3), 261–269. https://doi.org/10.2307/44652409

Busby, D. M., & Hsin-Yao Chiu, L. (2017). Perceived conflict styles of adult children and their parents: What is the connection? Journal of Child and Family Studies, 26(12), 3412–3424. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-017-0839-9

Family Strengths: Communication. (2020). Forever Families. https://foreverfamilies.byu.edu/family-strengths-communication

Ouyang, Q., & Cheung, R. Y. M. (2023). Mother–child versus father–child conflict and emerging adults’ depressive symptoms: The role of trust in parents and maladaptive emotional regulation. Journal of Adult Development, 30(2), 145–157. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10804-022-09431-1

Precision Family Therapy. (2025). The role of communication in strengthening family bonds. https://www.precisionfamilytherapy.com/post/the-role-of-communication-in-strengthening-family-bonds

The Importance of “I-Statements” in Relationships. (n.d.). Tony Robbins. https://www.tonyrobbins.com/blog/words-matter-you-vs-i

Winsberg, M. (2022). Speaking in Thumbs. Doubleday.

Building Positive Communication
Family Life Education, Self-Discovery

Building Trust Through Positive Communication: How Word Choice Builds Trust in Families

Beyond Possibilities

Good communication is at the heart of every healthy family relationship. In our latest workshop, we explored how the words we choose — especially in moments of stress — can either open a door to connection or close it. Even if you weren’t able to attend, the principles we discussed can help you strengthen your communication at home.

Why Word Choice Matters

Children and adolescents don’t just hear our words — they interpret the tone, structure, and intent behind them (Alejandra & Kataoka, 2017; Zapf et al., 2022). A phrase meant as guidance can sometimes sound like blame. For example:

  • Saying to a teen, “Why can’t you ever remember to text me?” may feel accusatory and lead to withdrawal.
  • Rephrased as, “I feel anxious when I don’t hear from you after school because I care about you. A quick text reassures me you’re safe,” the same concern becomes collaborative and caring.

These subtle shifts make a big difference in whether your child shuts down or leans in. Research shows that positive communication is linked to better family health and well-being (Kang et al., 2019) and can buffer stress for both parents and children (Rosland et al., 2011).

“I-Statements” vs. “You-Statements”

When emotions run high, our phrasing matters.

  • You-statements (e.g., “You never listen!”) point outward and often trigger defensiveness and conflict (Busby & Chiu, 2017).
  • I-statements (e.g., “I feel frustrated when instructions aren’t followed because it creates more work for me”) take ownership of feelings, reduce blame, and make room for dialogue (The Importance of “I-Statements,” n.d.).

Studies show that authentic I-statements help children feel respected, even when they are being corrected, and are associated with greater trust and healthier emotional regulation (Ouyang & Cheung, 2023; Yang et al., 2024). Families that practice open, consistent communication build resilience and stronger bonds (Family Strengths: Communication, 2020).

How to Put This into Practice

  • Pause before reacting. Take a breath and think: Am I about to use a “You-statement”?
  • Reframe with “I.” Center your message on your own feelings and needs, not blame.
  • Model growth. If you slip, rephrase aloud. This shows your children you are working on communication too.
  • Practice together. Try rewriting common household frustrations into I-statements as a family exercise.

The more you practice, the easier it becomes. Over time, your words can become a tool for connection, cooperation, and trust.

Communication Journal 2Download

📚 References

Alejandra, A. M., & Kataoka, S. (2017). Family communication styles and resilience among adolescents. Social Work, 62(3), 261–269. https://doi.org/10.2307/44652409

Busby, D. M., & Chiu, L. H. (2017). Perceived conflict styles of adult children and their parents: What is the connection? Journal of Child and Family Studies, 26(12), 3412–3424. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10826-017-0839-9

Family Strengths: Communication. (2020). Forever Families. https://foreverfamilies.byu.edu/family-strengths-communication

Kang, S. Y., Lee, J. A., & Kim, Y. S. (2019). Impact of family communications on self-rated health of couples who visited primary care physicians: A cross-sectional analysis of Family Cohort Study in Primary Care. PLOS ONE, 14(3), e0213427. https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0213427

Ouyang, Q., & Cheung, R. Y. M. (2023). Mother–child versus father–child conflict and emerging adults’ depressive symptoms: The role of trust in parents and maladaptive emotional regulation. Journal of Adult Development, 30(2), 145–157. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10804-022-09431-1

Rosland, A., Heisler, M., & Piette, J. D. (2011). The impact of family behaviors and communication patterns on chronic illness outcomes: A systematic review. Journal of Behavioral Medicine, 35(2), 221–239. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10865-011-9354-4

The Importance of “I-Statements” in Relationships. (n.d.). Tony Robbins. https://www.tonyrobbins.com/blog/words-matter-you-vs-i

Yang, K. N., Bergman, K. N., & Cummings, E. M. (2024). Mother–adolescent communication and father–adolescent communication: Analyzing a 4-week family intervention using multi-informant data. Journal of Research on Adolescence, 35(1). https://doi.org/10.1111/jor.12995

Zapf, H., Boettcher, J., Haukeland, Y. B., Orm, S., Coslar, S., Wiegand-Grefe, S., & Fjermestad, K. (2022). A systematic review of parent–child communication measures: Instruments and their psychometric properties. Clinical Child and Family Psychology Review, 26(1), 121–142. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10567-022-00414-3

Winsberg, M. (2022). Speaking in thumbs. Doubleday.

Family Life Education, Making a Difference, Self-Discovery

Building Bridges: Understanding Family Communication Styles

Beyond Possibilities

Communication is at the heart of every family relationship. It’s how we express love, set boundaries, and navigate challenges together. Yet, as our children grow—from tweens discovering independence, to teens testing limits, to young adults stepping into the world—communication often becomes one of the trickiest parts of parenting.

Whether you’re trying to get an 11-year-old to clean up their room, discussing curfew with a 16-year-old, or respecting the independence of your 22-year-old, the way you communicate can either strengthen connection or create distance.

Why Communication Matters

Research consistently shows that strong family communication builds resilience, reduces conflict, and helps children thrive emotionally (Alejandra & Kataoka, 2017; Busby & Chiu, 2017). For parents, good communication creates more cooperation at home and a deeper sense of trust—even during tough conversations.

The challenge? Not every style of communication is equally effective.

The Four Common Communication Styles

Communication can be mapped across two dimensions: openness of communication (how honestly we share) and consideration for others (how much we respect another’s needs). Together, these create four styles:

  • Aggressive – Open but lacking respect for others.
  • Passive – Respectful but withholding feelings or needs.
  • Passive-Aggressive – Indirect, masking frustration with sarcasm or avoidance.
  • Assertive – Honest and open while still considering others.

Most of us use a mix of these styles depending on stress, habits, or circumstances. But the healthiest families lean on assertive communication, because it balances honesty with respect.

Real-Life Examples

To bring these styles to life, here are a few parent–child situations across the tween-to-twenty spectrum:

  • Aggressive (Teen): Your 16-year-old comes home past curfew. You yell, “You’re completely irresponsible!”
  • Passive (Young Adult): Your 24-year-old borrows your car and returns it on empty. You say, “It’s fine, don’t worry about it,” while stewing inside.
  • Passive-Aggressive (Teen): Your 15-year-old forgets chores. You mutter, “Guess I’m the maid in this house,” while slamming the trash down.
  • Assertive (Tween): Your 12-year-old resists homework. You say, “I know you’re tired, but this needs to be finished. Let’s set a timer and take breaks.”

Can you see how each style affects the relationship differently?

Takeaway for Parents

There’s no such thing as perfect communication, but being aware of how you’re communicating is the first step. Ask yourself:

  • Am I being honest about my needs and feelings?
  • Am I showing respect for my child’s needs, even as they grow more independent?
  • Do I shift my approach when talking to my 11-year-old versus my 21-year-old?

The goal isn’t to avoid conflict—it’s to handle it in ways that build trust and connection.

Try This at Home

This week, pay attention to one interaction with your child. Notice your communication style in the moment. If it’s not assertive, pause and reframe your words. For example:

  • Instead of: “You never listen to me!”
  • Try: “I feel frustrated when I have to repeat myself. Can we figure out a better way to handle reminders?”

Small shifts like this can change the whole tone of family life.

Final Thoughts

Parenting tweens through twenties is a balancing act of guidance, boundaries, and letting go. Communication is the bridge that carries us through these stages. By becoming aware of your style—and choosing assertiveness more often—you’ll nurture respect, trust, and connection with your children at every age.

Whether you attended our recent family communication class or are simply exploring on your own, this resource is here to remind you: the way you speak shapes the way your family thrives.

Communication JournalDownload
Grief
Energy Healing, Essential Oils, Healing Journey, Health, Self-Discovery

Honoring Your Emotions Through Trauma: Natural Pathways for Healing and Resilience

Beyond Possibilities

Grief, loss, and life’s hardest traumas can feel overwhelming, leaving the heart heavy and the mind clouded. During these times, it’s not about pushing emotions away but learning how to honor and process them. By combining natural approaches—such as breathwork, journaling, meditation, energy healing, and aromatherapy—we can create supportive spaces for healing. These practices, rooted in both tradition and research, help release what weighs us down while building emotional resilience.

Energy Healing for Emotional Release

Many people hold unresolved emotions in the body, leading to stress, pain, and imbalance. Energy healing techniques like the Emotion Code, Body Code, and Belief Code are designed to release these emotional burdens.

  • Emotion Code focuses on identifying and clearing trapped emotions that may contribute to anxiety, sadness, or tension. In a study with 146 participants, significant reductions in self-reported depression, anxiety, and PTSD symptoms were observed after sessions with this modality, though more controlled research is needed (Gelb et al., 2021).
  • Body Code expands this approach to include physical, energetic, and structural imbalances that can affect overall wellness.
  • Belief Code addresses limiting subconscious beliefs that may keep people stuck in cycles of grief or pain. Once emotional barriers are released, healthier thought patterns can emerge.

While scientific validation continues to grow, these approaches align with widely accepted psychological concepts of mind-body connection and the importance of processing emotions rather than storing them internally (Bucci, 2025).

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Natural Tools for Emotional Healing

Breathwork

Breathwork helps regulate the nervous system and calm emotional reactivity. By slowing and deepening the breath, the body shifts from a fight-or-flight state into a calmer, more restorative mode.

Journaling

Writing out feelings provides clarity and helps organize overwhelming emotions. Journaling offers a safe space to name experiences, uncover insights, and begin reframing grief into meaning.

Meditation

Meditation practices—whether focused attention, mindfulness, or loving-kindness—help reduce distress and promote emotional stability. Neuroimaging studies show that meditation activates brain regions linked to empathy and regulation, such as the insula and anterior cingulate cortex (Fox et al., 2016).

Aromatherapy with doTERRA CPTG® Essential Oils*

Scent has a direct influence on the limbic system, the part of the brain that governs emotions and memories. Using doTERRA Certified Pure Tested Grade (CPTG®) essential oils can provide powerful emotional support during times of grief:

  • Console® Comforting Blend (Rose, Ylang Ylang, Frankincense, Sandalwood) offers calming, balancing support when sadness feels heavy.
  • Forgive® Renewing Blend (Nootka Tree, Thyme, Melissa) encourages self-compassion and renewal during emotional recovery.
  • Cheer® Uplifting Blend (Wild Orange, Cinnamon Bark, Star Anise) sparks optimism and helps shift lingering gloom.
  • Bergamot Essential Oil has shown promise in reducing PTSD-related symptoms such as sleep disruption and negative mood in first responders (Daniel, 2023).
  • Lime Essential Oil has been shown to imbue the soul with a zest for life and promotes courage. It is renewing, energizing and purify. Paired with other oils it magnifies their effect.
  • Balance® Grounding Blend The warm, woody aroma of doTERRA Balance Grounding Blend helps create a calming, quieting environment as you consider all aspects of life: relationships, work, fitness, health, and emotional well-being.
  • Peace® Reassuming Blend A gentle blend of floral and mint oils, doTERRA Peace Reassuring Blend serves as a positive reminder that you don’t have to be perfect to find peace.

From a biochemical perspective, compounds like linalool (Lavender, Clary Sage) and beta-pinene (Lemon, Lime, White Fir) interact with neurotransmitter systems linked to serotonin and dopamine, potentially easing anxious or sad feelings (doTERRA, n.d.-b).

While results vary, aromatherapy remains a gentle, non-invasive complement to emotional healing practices. Safety should always be prioritized, including dilution for topical use and sourcing oils from reputable providers such as doTERRA (Johns Hopkins Medicine, 2024).

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Bringing It All Together

Honoring emotions during grief and trauma means allowing space for release, reflection, and renewal. Breathwork, journaling, meditation, energy healing, and essential oils each offer unique pathways toward peace. Together, they create a holistic framework for processing heavy feelings while building resilience for the road ahead.

Healing is not about forgetting loss—it’s about finding light in the darkness and carrying forward with strength and compassion.

*These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure, or prevent any disease.

References

Self-Discovery

The Science of Setting Achievable Goals: 5 Steps to Success

Beyond Possibilities

Setting goals isn’t just about writing a list—it’s about aligning your vision, emotions, and daily actions in a way that makes success possible. Research shows that people who set clear, structured goals are far more likely to achieve them (Locke & Latham, 2002). But goals are not only mental exercises—they are also deeply emotional and spiritual journeys. Inviting God into the process through prayer and trust transforms goals from “tasks to accomplish” into opportunities for growth and grace.

Why Positive Feelings Matter in Goal Achievement

Studies in psychology show that positive emotions broaden attention, increase motivation, and build resilience (Fredrickson, 2001). When you feel good about your progress—even small wins—your brain releases dopamine, reinforcing the behavior and encouraging you to keep going (Kringelbach & Berridge, 2016).

One powerful way to strengthen positive emotions is through gratitude. Thank God for every step you take toward your goal, no matter how small. Gratitude isn’t only about what you’ve already received—it’s about appreciating the journey as you walk it.

Another key practice is to visualize what achieving your goal will feel like. Imagine the peace, joy, or confidence you’ll have when you reach it. Studies show that vividly describing these positive feelings increases persistence and success (Pham & Taylor, 1999). Combining gratitude with visualization keeps your spirit lifted and focused.

SMART Goals: The Key to Clarity

One of the most effective frameworks for goal-setting is the SMART model:

  • Specific – A clear, well-defined goal (e.g., “Walk 30 minutes, 5 days a week” vs. “Exercise more”).
  • Measurable – A way to track progress (time, frequency, or other metrics).
  • Achievable – Realistic given your current resources and lifestyle.
  • Relevant – Aligned with your values, faith, and long-term objectives.
  • Time-bound – A deadline or timeline to create urgency and accountability.

Research confirms that specific and measurable goals are more likely to be achieved than vague intentions (Locke & Latham, 2002).

5 Steps to Achieving Your Goals

1. Define Your Goal with Clarity and Prayer

Write it down in SMART format. For example, instead of “I want to be healthier,” say:
“I will walk for 30 minutes, 5 days a week, for the next 3 months.”

Then, take your goal to God in prayer. Ask for wisdom, strength, and discernment. Proverbs 16:3 reminds us: “Commit to the Lord whatever you do, and He will establish your plans.”

2. Break It into Manageable Milestones

Large goals can feel overwhelming. Breaking them into smaller steps makes them more achievable and provides built-in opportunities to celebrate progress. Each milestone is also a moment to pause, give thanks, and pray for guidance on the next step.

3. Harness Positive Emotions, Gratitude, and Faith

Celebrate small wins, keep a gratitude journal, and thank God as you move forward. Gratitude enhances motivation and strengthens resilience (Emmons & McCullough, 2003).

As you go, imagine what it will feel like to achieve your goal—the joy, peace, or sense of accomplishment. Ask God to keep that vision alive in your heart and to help you persevere.

4. Anticipate Obstacles and Plan Ahead with God’s Help

Setbacks are normal. Create “if-then” plans:
“If it rains and I can’t walk outside, then I will do a 20-minute indoor workout.”
Studies show that implementation intentions like this significantly improve success rates (Gollwitzer, 1999). But also remember—when obstacles come, prayer can shift your perspective. Philippians 4:13 says: “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.”

5. Review, Adjust, and Stay Connected Spiritually

Goals are not static. Reflect weekly or monthly on your progress. If your original plan isn’t working, adapt it. Flexibility increases the likelihood of long-term achievement (Sheldon & Elliot, 1999).

At each checkpoint, take time to pray—celebrating what’s working and seeking guidance on what to adjust. This keeps your goals in alignment with both your values and God’s plan for your life.

The Power of Goal Journaling

Keeping a journal of your goals and the steps you take toward them can significantly increase your chances of success. Writing down progress not only makes goals feel more concrete but also provides a space for reflection, gratitude, and prayer along the way. Research shows that tracking progress improves accountability and persistence (Baumeister & Tierney, 2011). A journal also allows you to record challenges and how you overcame them, creating a roadmap you can return to for encouragement. By documenting both milestones and emotions, you reinforce your commitment and stay motivated for the long term.

Goal JournalDownload

Final Thoughts

Achieving your goals is not just about willpower—it’s about working with your brain, your emotions, and your faith. By setting clear, measurable goals, expressing gratitude along the way, visualizing what success feels like, and inviting God into every step, you’ll be far more likely to stay the course and experience real, lasting change.

References

Baumeister, R. F., & Tierney, J. (2011). Willpower: Rediscovering the greatest human strength. New York, NY: Penguin Press.

Deci, E. L., & Ryan, R. M. (2000). Self-determination theory and the facilitation of intrinsic motivation, social development, and well-being. American Psychologist, 55(1), 68–78. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.55.1.68

Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377–389. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.84.2.377

Fredrickson, B. L. (2001). The role of positive emotions in positive psychology: The broaden-and-build theory of positive emotions. American Psychologist, 56(3), 218–226. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.56.3.218

Gollwitzer, P. M. (1999). Implementation intentions: Strong effects of simple plans. American Psychologist, 54(7), 493–503. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.54.7.493

Kringelbach, M. L., & Berridge, K. C. (2016). The neuroscience of happiness and pleasure. Social Research, 80(2), 385–406. https://www.jstor.org/stable/24385609

Locke, E. A., & Latham, G. P. (2002). Building a practically useful theory of goal setting and task motivation: A 35-year odyssey. American Psychologist, 57(9), 705–717. https://doi.org/10.1037/0003-066X.57.9.705

Pham, L. B., & Taylor, S. E. (1999). From thought to action: Effects of process- versus outcome-based mental simulations on performance. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 25(2), 250–260. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167299025002010

Sheldon, K. M., & Elliot, A. J. (1999). Goal striving, need satisfaction, and longitudinal well-being: The self-concordance model. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 76(3), 482–497. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.76.3.482