There are seasons in life when we spend so much time trying to understand where we have been that we don’t realize we are already becoming someone new.
Not a completely different person.
Not someone without scars, stories, mistakes, or hard memories.
But someone who sees herself differently.
Someone who asks different questions.
Someone who begins to recognize that healing isn’t necessarily about erasing the past.
Maybe healing is about learning how to carry the past differently—and allowing it to become part of the wisdom that shapes where we go next.
That is where I find myself today.
Looking back.
Looking within.
And looking forward.
Where I’ve Been
When I look back at some of my earliest writing, I see a woman who was trying to understand her own story.
My work with Beyond Abuse Essential Healing was born from a very personal place. The focus was on helping people move beyond abuse and find their own path toward health, wellness, and healing.
The words I wrote then came from a woman who was learning.
Learning about abuse.
Learning about survival.
Learning about triggers.
Learning about emotions.
Learning about self-worth.
Learning about forgiveness.
Learning how experiences can shape the beliefs we carry about ourselves and the world around us.
Some of those old titles still make me smile because I can see the woman behind them:
“I AM ENOUGH.”
“I Am Not a Victim, I Am in the Driver Seat.”
“I Am Becoming Wonder Woman.”
“NEW YEAR – NEW POSSIBILITIES.”
Those words may have been written years ago, but I can see now that something was already happening.
I was becoming.
I just didn’t have all the language for it yet.
My journey wasn’t about suddenly waking up one morning and deciding everything was going to be okay.
It was much messier than that.
There were difficult emotions.
There were beliefs I had to examine.
There were things I had to learn to say.
There were things I had to learn to stop saying.
There were parts of myself I had ignored because I was busy surviving, taking care of others, or simply trying to keep moving.
And there were times when I wondered whether the things I had experienced would always define me.
But somewhere along the way, a different question began to emerge:
What if they don’t?
The Question That Changed My Direction
For a long time, healing can feel like trying to get back to who you were before something happened.
But what if that isn’t the goal?
What if the goal isn’t to go backward?
What if the goal is to move forward with greater awareness?
That question has changed the way I see my own journey.
I don’t want to spend the rest of my life defined by what happened to me.
But I also don’t want to pretend it didn’t happen.
Both things can be true.
My story matters.
And:
My story is not the whole of me.
That distinction has become incredibly important to me.
Healing Isn’t About Becoming Someone New
This is one of the messages that has become central to Beyond Possibilities:
Healing isn’t about becoming someone new—it’s about uncovering who you’ve always been created to be.
For me, this includes my faith.
I believe God created each of us with purpose, worth, gifts, and possibilities that are not erased by the difficult things we experience.
Sometimes life teaches us beliefs about ourselves that aren’t aligned with that truth.
We may begin to believe:
- I’m not enough.
- I should have done more.
- I have to take care of everyone else first.
- My feelings are a problem.
- I need to be perfect.
- I can’t trust myself.
- This is just the way I am.
- This is as good as life gets.
But beliefs can be examined.
We can become aware of the stories we carry.
We can ask whether those stories are still serving us.
And we can begin creating room for something different.
This doesn’t mean that simply changing a thought magically changes our lives.
It means that awareness gives us an opportunity to choose how we respond.
Psychological research has long explored the relationship between thoughts, emotions, behavior, and physiological responses. Practices such as mindfulness and expressive writing can support greater self-awareness and emotional processing, while movement-based approaches have also been studied for psychological well-being (Farb et al., 2015; Koch et al., 2019; Pennebaker & Smyth, 2016).
That is part of why I have become so interested in the relationship between the mind, body, and spirit.
We are not just a mind walking around inside a body.
Our experiences are interconnected.
Learning to Listen
One of my more recent articles is titled “Healing Begins When We Listen.”
That title didn’t come from nowhere.
It reflects where I am now.
I am learning to listen differently.
To my thoughts.
To my emotions.
To my body.
To my relationships.
To my spiritual life.
To the questions that keep showing up.
Research on interoception—the ability to sense and interpret signals from within the body—has helped deepen our understanding of the connection between bodily awareness, emotion, and self-awareness (Farb et al., 2015).
And I have discovered something beautiful in that process:
Listening doesn’t mean believing that every sensation has a hidden message.
It means becoming curious instead of immediately judgmental.
Instead of:
“What’s wrong with me?”
I can ask:
“What am I experiencing?”
Instead of:
“Why can’t I just get over this?”
I can ask:
“What do I need right now?”
Instead of:
“Why am I feeling this?”
I can ask:
“What can I learn from noticing this?”
That is a very different way of living.
From Surviving to Becoming
When I look at the progression of my writing over the years, I can see the shift.
My earlier work centered heavily around moving beyond abuse and healing from painful experiences.
My newer work explores:
self-care without guilt,
mind-body connection,
movement and emotion,
family communication,
grounding,
mindfulness,
gratitude,
faith,
wellness,
and becoming.
My Beyond Possibilities articles now include questions like:
What if?
What happens when we reclaim our voice?
What does it mean to become through the journey?
What happens when we learn to listen to our mind, body, and spirit?
Those aren’t the questions of someone who has arrived.
They’re the questions of someone who is still becoming.
And I think that’s important to say.
Because I don’t want to present myself as someone who has figured everything out.
I haven’t.
I’m still learning.
I’m still growing.
I’m still questioning.
I’m still healing.
I’m still discovering.
And honestly?
I think that’s part of the beauty.
Becoming Doesn’t Mean Leaving the Old Me Behind
Sometimes we talk about transformation as though we should be ashamed of who we used to be.
I don’t see it that way anymore.
I have compassion for the woman I was.
She was doing the best she could with what she knew at the time.
She was learning.
She was surviving.
She was searching.
She was trying to make sense of things.
She was looking for answers.
And she kept going.
I don’t need to reject her to become who I am today.
I can thank her.
I can learn from her.
I can honor her.
And I can keep moving forward.
Maybe that’s what becoming really looks like.
Not destroying the old version of ourselves.
Not pretending we were never hurt.
Not creating some perfect new identity.
But integrating what we’ve learned and allowing ourselves to grow.
Carl Jung described individuation as a process through which different aspects of the self become more conscious and integrated.
That idea resonates deeply with the direction my own journey has taken.
Becoming whole doesn’t mean becoming perfect.
It means becoming more aware of who we are.
And Then There Are New Possibilities
This is where Beyond Possibilities comes in.
The name isn’t accidental.
I’ve been writing about possibilities for years.
Even back in 2018, one of my Beyond Abuse Essential Healing posts was titled “I AM ENOUGH! NEW YEAR – NEW POSSIBILITIES.”
And in 2020, I wrote “Oh The Places We’ve Been, Now on to What is Possible.”
Looking back, I realize the possibility was always there.
I just kept discovering new layers of what it meant.
Today, Beyond Possibilities isn’t simply about helping someone move away from something painful.
It’s about asking:
What might become possible when we understand ourselves more deeply?
What becomes possible when we learn to listen?
What becomes possible when we examine our beliefs?
What becomes possible when we stop treating self-care like something we have to earn?
What becomes possible when we give ourselves permission to learn?
What becomes possible when we reconnect with our bodies?
What becomes possible when we move?
What becomes possible when we slow down?
What becomes possible when we invite God into the process?
What becomes possible when we stop asking only,
“What’s wrong with me?”
and begin asking,
“Who am I becoming?”
I Am Still Becoming
I don’t know exactly what the next chapter looks like.
And I’m learning to be okay with that.
I recently completed my bachelor’s degree in Human and Family Services, and I am continuing my education and training because I believe learning is part of becoming.
I’m exploring new ways to educate, uplift, inspire, empower, and support others.
I’m continuing to learn about the mind.
The body.
The spirit.
Emotions.
Beliefs.
Movement.
Wellness.
Relationships.
Faith.
And the many different ways we can become more aware of ourselves and the lives we are creating.
Some of the tools and approaches I use come from my own education, training, professional experience, and personal journey.
Others are areas I continue to study and explore.
And that distinction matters to me.
I don’t need to have every answer to walk beside someone while they discover their own questions.
I don’t need to promise someone a perfect outcome.
I can educate.
I can share what I’m learning.
I can offer tools for reflection.
I can encourage.
I can listen.
I can create space.
And I can remind someone that their possibilities may be bigger than the story they have been carrying.
Maybe You Are Becoming Too
Maybe you are somewhere in the middle of your own story.
Maybe you’re still trying to understand where you’ve been.
Maybe you’re exhausted from taking care of everyone else.
Maybe you’ve spent years believing that you have to be stronger, better, thinner, smarter, happier, more successful, or more put together before you can finally feel worthy.
Maybe you’re beginning to question some of those beliefs.
Maybe you’re healing.
Maybe you’re rebuilding.
Maybe you’re simply curious about what else might be possible.
Wherever you are, I don’t think you have to have it all figured out.
You can begin with one question.
What if?
What if there is more to your story?
What if you are not broken?
What if the parts of yourself you’ve been trying to hide are actually asking to be understood?
What if healing isn’t about becoming someone else?
What if it is about discovering more of who you were created to be?
And what if becoming isn’t something you eventually finish?
What if becoming is simply the beautiful, sometimes messy, sometimes painful, sometimes joyful process of continuing to grow?
Where I’ve Been. Who I’m Becoming. What’s Possible.
So this is where I am today.
I honor where I’ve been.
I am curious about who I’m becoming.
And I am open to what’s possible.
I don’t have to erase my past to embrace my future.
I don’t have to be finished healing before I can experience joy.
I don’t have to know exactly where the path leads before I take the next step.
I can learn.
I can grow.
I can listen.
I can question.
I can move.
I can rest.
I can pray.
I can begin again.
And I can become.
Because perhaps the greatest possibility isn’t becoming the person I think I should be.
Perhaps it is becoming more fully the person God created me to be.
And maybe…
you are becoming, too.
A Possibility Ponder Point
Take a few minutes today and write without judging or correcting yourself:
Where have I been?
What experiences, beliefs, relationships, or circumstances have shaped the person I am today?
What have I learned?
What wisdom, strength, awareness, or compassion has come from my journey?
Who am I becoming?
What qualities do I want to develop—not because I need to become “better,” but because they feel aligned with who I want to be?
What’s possible now?
If I stopped assuming that my past determines my future, what possibility would I be willing to explore?
And finally:
What if I don’t have to become someone new?
What if I am simply becoming more fully me?
A Note From Me
My work is educational and experiential. I am not a physician or mental-health provider, and the tools and practices I share are not intended to diagnose, treat, or replace professional medical or mental-health care.
My hope is simpler:
To uplift.
To inspire.
To empower.
To educate.
And to create a place where we can explore the mind, body, and spirit together while remembering that every person’s journey is uniquely their own.
This is Beyond Possibilities.
And I’m still becoming.
Maybe you are, too.
References
Farb, N. A. S., Daubenmier, J., Price, C. J., Gard, T., Kerr, C. E., Dunn, B. D., Klein, A. C., Paulus, M. P., & Mehling, W. E. (2015). Interoception, contemplative practice, and health. Frontiers in Psychology, 6, Article 763. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2015.00763
Jung, C. G. (1966). Two essays on analytical psychology (R. F. C. Hull, Trans.). Princeton University Press.
Koch, S. C., Riege, R. F. F., Tisborn, K., Biondo, J., Martin, L., & Beelmann, A. (2019). Effects of dance movement therapy and dance on health-related psychological outcomes: A meta-analysis. The Arts in Psychotherapy, 63, 118–127. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.aip.2018.12.004
Pennebaker, J. W., & Smyth, J. M. (2016). Opening up by writing it down: How expressive writing improves health and eases emotional pain (3rd ed.). Guilford Press.
